Archive for September, 2011

Way to go SpongeBoob, you jerk!

Posted in Editorial with tags , , on September 13, 2011 by JonH

Research out of the psychology department at the University of Virginia is now suggesting that even minor exposure to the Nickelodeon cartoon SpongeBob SquarePants can make a four-year old retarded. (Oh my god, that was politically incorrect.)

Okay, it doesn’t really say that. It does say that moderate exposure (nine minutes or so) to the much loved sponge and his starfish buddy Patrick has shown cognitive impairment in the test subjects’ executive functioning.

The best part of this research, however, has been some of the responses that people have had to it. Take for example, a snippet of the commentary from the CBC’s website and their article “SpongeBob may impair 4-year-olds’ brains.”

Local782 had this to say: “never mind Sponge Bob, what about the kids that watched Caillou. did they happen to notice how much complaining and how demanding the kids were after watching him. all he dose is wine and be saucy. in the end he learns a lesson and the proper way is highlighted, however as this study suggests, most kids don’t make it to the last couple mins. ill let my daughter watch sponge bob over that show any day.” Independent research has shown that Local782’s lack of proper punctuation, apparent disdain of capital letters and poor spelling hasn’t stunted his (or her) ability to get a point across: Caillou does suck.

The infinitely right leaning RandyD said, “Whats [sic] the big deal, the left has been impairing childrens [sic] brains for, going on 50 years now.” Research out of left field has indicated that RandyD votes Conservative.

The amazingly off-topic, yet aptly named Anti-CBC: “Well the CBC DOES impair my wallet because they will get 1.1 billion in tax payers money in 2011 alone.” Research suggests that this was RandyD using a pseudonym.

The best comment, however, goes to the insightful SpidersNSnakes: “Maybe if 30 minutes of television didn’t have to contain 8 to 10 minutes of commercials, the show could slow the content.”

Good job Spiders, blame the advertisers.

Anyhow, it’s all fun and games until they release a study indicating how hours of watching the Hilarious House of Frightenstein has bent a generation of forty somethings.